Since hearing of the passing of Matthew Perry a lot of thoughts have been going through my head. The outpouring of love for a man many of us have only watched on screen is nice to see, but also just poses more questions.
Friends was first aired in September 1994, I was 11 years old. I don’t remember when I first started watching it but I was definitely in my early teens. It was a hit immediately, this fun group living it up in New York City, what’s not to love! A mixed bag of characters who are all seemingly are best friends, let’s face it this doesn’t happen in the real world!
We’d all pick which character we were most like, when in reality we were probably like a few of them mixed together. But Chandler, he was the funny one, the overly sarcastic one, especially in the early seasons, he was never really that serious. But he had a good stable job, he made a decent amount of money and had his own apartment. I mean, what more could you want? And then in season 4 they paired him up with Monica, and you could say the rest is history! When the show ended 10 series later in 2004 they all seemed to have the happy endings we all wish for so much. Chandler and Monica in their nice house with their brand new babies. Ross and Rachel finally together after so many will they won’t they moments. Phoebe married Mike and had her happy ending. And although Joey didn’t end up with someone, he was still happy, and later in his spin-off show managed to settle down.
Sadly Matthew Perry’s life did not seem to go so smoothly. He talked a lot about his addictions over the years and how he does not remember a lot of the filming of Friends due to drug and alcohol binges. He also details this in his recent autobiography. He didn’t just do Friends, he also starred in many films over the years, making us laugh as always. But watching Friends today did not make me smile, instead I saw a man making everyone else laugh whilst possibly being at the lowest times of his life. Which made me wonder how many people we come across who feel they can’t be honest about how they’re feeling. How often do you really tell someone how you are? Is it because of how they may react? I know when I’ve tried before I get “oh you’ll be fine” or “don’t be silly, you have no reason to feel down”. This is not OK. You really never know what someone else is battling, yes you may think their life is amazing but that doesn’t mean they aren’t allowed to have a bad day, or struggle sometimes.
I’ve been involved in many chats since Matthew Perry died, with people expressing their grief, wondering why he couldn’t get the help he needed. We know the mental health crisis in the world is bad, and it’s getting worse. Social media does not help this as people pose for unrealistic photos or display perfect examples of relationships that are false but leads to others making comparisons. I think a lot boils down to what you really want from life. Do you want to be the most popular? The one with the most likes who everyone envies. Or do you just want to be able to go to bed at night knowing you don’t have to worry about paying the bills or where your next meal is coming from? As I think I’d much prefer that.
We live in a world full of negativity and a warped sense of reality, so let us learn something from another high profile celebrity death and think before we judge someone else. Maybe pick up the phone and check in on people a little more, and truly listen. If they want to have a bad day, let them, sit with them in silence so they know that you’re there. In a world where you can be anything, choose to be kind!
Fighting Fit 