Now if you’re as old as me, you may remember this title as the strapline to a BT advert featuring Bob Hoskins. But I think the sentiment is quite true still.
Following on from my last post, I thought a post about talking would be good. Like I said, sometimes we have a bad day and that’s ok. But if this continues, then I think talking about it with someone, whether that’s a friend, colleague or a professional is a really good thing. It’s important we tell people how we’re feeling, and likewise if you have someone who needs to talk to you, it’s important to listen. People don’t always want solutions, sometimes they just need to share how they’re feeling,, to explain maybe why they’ve been quiet or aren’t as happy as they normally are. I think in general we’re quite bad at hiding how we truly feel, like Chandler we smile and pretend everything is ok when really we may be feeling like crap, and sometimes so are our friends but we hide it from each other.
It doesn’t really make sense, but I know it’s something a lot of us do, some people say it’s because they don’t want to burden people or bring them down, or perhaps they think people don’t really care and only like them when they’re happy and smiling. I know I have felt a bit like that in the past. I often keep things to myself fearing that people don’t want to know, won’t understand or won’t want to be friends with me anymore if I’m sad and boring. This doesn’t help my mood, in fact if anything it makes it worse, but you don’t always realise that when you’re in a slump.
So what changed you ask? Well, it’s something I still struggle with and my go to is still to shut the world out and isolate myself rather than talking, although I am getting there slowly. I have one or two close friends I can trust with my daft thoughts, and I also see a counsellor occasionally for things I need a little more help with. And I can honestly say that being more honest really helps. It makes you feel really vulnerable at first but then I learnt to stay out of my head so much and realised I didn’t need to have such negative thoughts. And I’ve found that the people I’ve told have also felt similar things, and by me opening up it has helped them be honest with me about how their feeling. And now we’re able to share more honestly about how we’re feeling before our mood drops too low like before. Like the saying, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.
So if you’ve ever felt like you can’t tell anyone what you’re thinking, that it’s too daft or that no one will care, trust me that someone does! There’s someone in your life that wants to know that you’re OK, and if you’re not they want to help you. Even if that just means sitting with you in complete silence just to be there. so you know you aren’t alone. And they’ll be ready to listen when you want to talk. It’s also important to look after yourself when you aren’t feeling your best, give yourself some extra time on these days. Take a hot bath, relax with a cup of coffee doing nothing, treat yourself to that piece of cake, or take a walk, whatever works for you but practice some self care and look after yourself.
Fighting Fit 